Truth Moment?

Writing has always been my outlet when life throws curve balls my way. It was Flannery O’Connor who said, “I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.” In the same vain, writing helps me to make sense of life. There comes a time though when you have to ask yourself, “Is this what God is calling you to do?” The answer to that question on either side of the spectrum, has the potential to change your life. Vincent Van Gough said “your profession is not what brings home your weekly paycheck, your profession is what you’re put here on earth to do, with such passion and such intensity that it becomes spiritual in calling.” I believe that I am called to minister and that writing and music are the outlets God has given me to do just that. I look at all of the things that I have been blessed to accomplish thus far, graduating from high school, college, and now furthering my education at Quinnipiac as a grad student, working on music with my sisters, and managing my three blogs, and I am grateful to the Lord for giving me the opportunity to be able reap the benefits of those things. And then there are days when I wonder if what I am doing is enough. Am I really spending as much time as I can building a brand, and a solid, consistent following for my blogs? Am I taking advantage of all of the opportunities that have been allotted to me? How is God being represented in these efforts? Who’s really reading my blogs? Do I believe in my why? My mind sometimes gets flooded with these and other thoughts, mainly what skeptics believe about my reason for going into this field and what my stance is as a Christian. The field of journalism can be an unforgiving one, and what I am finding more so now, having talked to professionals who work within it, is that you have to have thick skin, know who you are as writer, and have a strong voice. It would be easy to say “Well, I’m going to work to prove all my “naysayers” wrong.” But that is not my aim. Nor do I want to silence the unique voice that I have as a writer to appease the majority. Recently, I have been praying for divine wisdom, and God’s grace to cover me as I walk further into my purpose. I see young writers, bloggers etc. branding themselves, having articles written about them, and in times of uncertainty I ask God, “when will it be my turn?” What I heard in my spirit was this, “You can’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. My grace is sufficient for you, and I will lift you up in due time. Do not get weary in well doing. Stay the course.” With faith as my driving force for everything that I do, I am hopeful that I will continue to see the work of God’s hand in my life, learn the lesson of patience and I trust that I will be better for it.


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